February 1: Love and beauty (and hokey titles)

February 2, 2013 § 2 Comments

Not that I am a fan of Valentine’s Day or anything, but I just felt like making a pink and purple Valentine-ish collage/card tonight. Really, it was just an excuse to use a glue gun.

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O.  loved playing with all the ribbons and papers that came in the bag  of goodies I used, which was  nice, as I got to make a project while she was still awake, which usually doesn’t happen.

And then I finished a poem. This is as happy as my poems get, which is worrisome, I guess…

I who am beautiful
– on the inside
– to my children
– to others’ dogs
– occasionally
– in mirrorless rooms

Was caught on a tightrope once in a dream carrying a sleeping baby under my arm with no balancing oversized umbrella but with sweaty armpits though glamorous
Was following a beautiful young boy once in East Village who wore an old army coat and photogenic windblown longish hair
Was invisible to him and idle wanting to see where beautiful boys go

I who was beautiful in my invisibility
I who was beautiful in my solitude
I who was beautiful in my safe distance
I who was beautiful in the vastness of the city

Was hiding bread under the table once when I was younger than my children are disappearing into its white softness when my mother was not looking
Was loving all the little girls I have ever seen who remind me of me and hide other breads in their pockets

I who was beautiful in my inadequacy
I who was beautiful in never being full
I who am beautiful for never having enough
I who was beautiful in my clumsiness

Was walking without an umbrella to balance me between me and me
glamorous wearing clothes that belonged to someone who died in her sleep & I didn’t even wash them because we never met her and there was something I wanted to ask her

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