January 9: writing to deal with issues

January 10, 2013 § Leave a comment

I have been dealing with many fears lately, both founded and unfounded. The typewriter we pulled out the other night reminded me how I used to deal with issues by writing poetry. My poetry has never been joyful or even positive. Instead, I would dump all my bad feelings into poems and walk away feeling better, purified I suppose. I thought the strategy may work again. So here is tonight’s product, a draft that needs some work.

 

I find myself in this house with too many walls
Wall upon wall upon wall and
enough empty space to stuff with five thousand crumpled newspapers filled with bad news only, ink that stains fingers,
a child’s substitute for the healthy green fields, living room a setting for a short relay race
So much to snag you: under, behind, above
I used to wear my homes like shawls around the shoulders,
elegantly daintily my contours shaped their boundaries
I lived in soft breathing egg-like apartments heated with breaths
Pacing the rooms took three deep breaths, two lunges, two squats; beginning and ending in the kitchen, cups upon cups of imitation beverages (I eat better now)
I kept piles of old newspapers I never read, used the ink instead to dye warlords in gay colors
Before this house of too much space, too much that could go wrong,
forgetting the word combination and failing to grow the proper herbs for the spell that would make it impervious to all damage until the end of time.

 

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